Lost Again

Slowly but truly

Fear cripples me fully

The finesse I once housed

Has flawed my thinking

Being too strong

I lost faith

Being too tough

I forced grace

Lost my senses trying to make one

So I agree 

So foolish I have been chasing sanity

Always saw me to become this

But this my fears tried to bury

With sticks broken by stones

Now I feast over broken bones

These bones of my soul

Where I still never fully heal

From the crippling in my soul

I am loosing time

Cos I have been foolish again

Foolishly running mad 

All for sanity's sake

Asking me questions

Those only broken hearts can take

I am done with the slow and true phase

Cos I have been slow but untrue

I don't know how to be selfish

But I have been with you

Perhaps only to me

For not owning my feels

But still

My hands ain't still enough for a drive like this

So once more I must lie to me

Drop a false face you want to see

Smile, say hi, but cry for me

I don't know how to be

Cos I left all of me

At the spot we were last seen

It really is foolish to run the risk of going mad for sanity's sake

But I be mad trying to run from sanity today, yesterday, everyday

Most fascinating line is

I can't quit making this feeble heart sink

And sing psalms unsung

But all addressed to me

So alone I be lost in this crazy

I will plant me in your dreams

But reality...

Let's leave that for another broken love story.