My Depression Story and How I Overcame it II

Day 08 on the Help Fight Depression campaign

A brave lady shares her story helping us understand how she fell into depression from a failed relationship. Dealing with pain, worry, sadness and a broken heart. She tells us how she was able to cope and shares a message of hope.

6th, January 2021

All my life, I've never started a new year with gloomy and sad feelings. If at all I was told that my 2021 was going, to begin with, heartbreak, I would have found a way to step into it.

 I've always expected heartbreak, but this one came unexpectedly. And it got me so hard that I wondered how I had been coping with it every passing month in the year.

It all happened like a dream. These words keep echoing in my ears day and night:

"My son has told us everything. I want you to understand with me, you can't marry my son because he's the only son in the family and you coming into his life won't be easy on you because the responsibilities will be much on you....."

These were the words I received that very Monday morning on a phone call from my would-be mother-in-law. Someone I've ever loved despite we never met. I respected her and hoped, and longed to meet her that she has to become my priority each time we spoke with her son. God! I kept asking, "why didn't our heart blend with her?" 

As if that was not enough, the sister called too, trying to find a reason for me to walk away...

"My dear, you have to understand with us. On our side, we farm a lot and considering your condition, it won't be funny with you. We can't question God why things are happening like this or why he created you this way, but you just have to leave his life..." 

I couldn't wait for her to finish up because I wanted to ask her, "is marriage in your side all about farming?" The fact that I loved Him so much and for once I've never disrespected him gave me the control over my anger towards his eldest sister, I've ever cherished too. 

My new year turned out to be one of mourning. The worst of it, he couldn't stand up for me as he promised, not even to stand up for what he loves. 

"Why me again?" 

Thereafter, I realized why others have been walking away of which I know, but I thought he was going to be different. 

Depression chipped in, at the moment my heart lost its hold. It became so dark that I hated what I loved doing. My passion became my enemy because that was what inspired him more. I became a shadow to myself.

How I'm overcoming it, is something I can't tell rather than saying is grace. But I'm much more scared to love again not because I can't be accepted by Mr right, but will his family accept me? Because I am stigmatised.

Anyways, one thing remains certain;

"With time, I will be in love again. But for now, I need to love myself first."

-Brave Anonymous 3